Monday, February 21, 2011

Groupies, or Lack Thereof

Last night was one of those rare nights where I was so glad that I decided to stay in, despite the fact that today is a holiday for me and I don't have to go to work (although, I am still going in for a few hours, curse, curse, curse).

Around 10:00 last night Neko Case posted on twitter: "To answer your question, no, ladies in bands don't get ANY action. Actresses have a lean on all the "pussy" we were supposed to get." This prompted a discussion on the social order of rock stardom. Dozens of other female musicians chimed in saying that they never get laid while out on tour, while their male drummers pick up a different chick every night.

Colette Alexander: I remember the 1st time I ever wished I was a boy was when I started playing in bands. Oh, to be propositioned post-show.

Rockn Rolga: this is TRUTH. While my band mates were getting some action, my action was hoofin' the merch back in the van.

Sarah Conley: so true! i'm in a brother-sister band&get no action where my bro&the rest of the guys get all.i'm rarely even in the conversation

Needless to say, this discussion blew my feeble mind and shattered my rockstar fantasies. I mean, if Neko freaking Case can't get laid post-gig, how the hell is here any hope for me?

The conversation quickly turned to why this double standard exists in the music biz:

Jenny Decimal: Folks assume that a girl making it in a business that's traditionally a dudefest must be terrifying & evil, eg Margaret Thatcher.

This statement I can appreciate, especially in my career and with my education. How many dudes have told me that I intimidate them? Is it my fault that I have my shit together and make more money than they do? More importantly, am I Margaret Thatcher? God Damn! I might as well shoot myself right now.

More theories:

Steve Horrocks: It's simply due to the abundance of sluts.

Amy Millan: the merch girl man.She's the one who gets ALL the action-It's like wardrobe chicks on film sets-they get WAY more then actresses

jason bentley: It's easier to talk to MerchGirl v. BandGirl b/c MerchGirl can't leave her post! Stationary = indieboynerd confidence!

Lumpy Deardorff: I would not hit on you. Please don't take it personally, I am married & afraid of powerful women. Also, all other types of women.

flattery_sucks: It's hard to hit on women in bands, I am busy awkwardly trying to explain what their music means to me emotionally. Also crying

It appeared that gay dudes were willing to take one for the team and several propositioned Ms. Case. But overall, the straight men were being giant pansies. Team Daytrotter summed it up best, "sounds like we've got some figurin to do."

This conversation was the best thing that I have ever seen on twitter, possibly the best think ever on the internet. Although now I am totally depressed knowing that I will never get laid again.

Here are two groupie songs that I love. What makes these versions really interesting is that both were originally sung by women.

Okkervil River - The Blonde In the Bleachers.mp3 (Joni Mitchell cover)
From: Golden Opportunities Mixtape (2007)

Sonic Youth - Superstar.mp3 (Carpenters cover)
Buy (MP3, CD out of print): If I Were A Carpenter (1994)

And for me and Margaret Thatcher:
Neko Case - Alone and Forsaken.mp3
Buy: Live From Austin, TX (2007)


Unknown said...

It really was a fantastic dialogue, though I agree with your analysis that it's depressing. Between the lack of hope for ever getting any and the role that being "intimidating" plays in that...well, I'm going to have to go ski that off today because it makes me sad.
Clearly we haven't come as far as we think.

Blair said...

An awesome summary of a wonderful, spontaneous social networking moment!

Anonymous said...

Yeah, what a fascinating and eye-opening discussion that was!

t-sizzles said...

wait what? how did I miss this?

Large Wang said...

If you want some action, there's a guy named Dan in Kitchener who will not dissapoint!

Rockstar Aimz said...

"Dan in Kitchener..." how can I resist? ;)