Wednesday, August 13, 2014

Some Depression

Blogger tells me that the last time I updated this post was on July 28, 2013. In truth, I started writing it long before that, but I never had it in me to push the little orange Publish button. Robin Williams' death and all this talk of depression has kind of pushed me over the edge, and I've been dwelling on it all day. This was not easy for me to write and it is not an easy read. Except for a handful of sentences and the last few paragraphs, most of this was written over a year ago.


I haven't had it in me to update my blog in the last eight 21 months (except that Boston Marathon post, to which I never wrote a follow-up). When your hobby becomes a chore, it's time to find a new hobby. But what the hell? I used to love blogging about music. And it's not like I am going to fewer shows (well, I sort of am, but we'll get into that later), or listening to less music, or have found a new hobby. What the fuck, Amy?

In early May 2011, after an 18 month hiatus, Allie at Hyperbole and a Half wrote a brilliant blog post about depression. While I didn't relate to everything she said, a lot of it hit close to home and I found myself doing some of the exact things that she described, like this:

and this:

and this:

And I thought, "Dammit Aimz," and was briefly motivated to at least update the format/header of my blog (although I am still not happy with it). But I still couldn't fire up the activation energy to even post the damn set list for Hayes Carll's gig at Johnny D's (May 2013, killer show, by the way), or write about openly weeping when Jason Isbell played "Elephant" at The Sinclair in July 2013, or being one of eight people at the amazing Lee Bains III and the Glory Fires show (Feb 2014), or getting my face melted by The Turnpike Troubadours and American Aquarium (July 2014, best show I've seen this year). I even have a half-written blog post about my very first Son Volt show from June 2013.

And it's no secret that I've been dealing with some shit lately. Hell, I'll just say it. I've been formally, medically coping with clinical depression and/or generalized anxiety disorder and/or other diagnosis on and off (mostly on) for the last 15 years, and I am fairly sure that I have been actually dealing with it for most of my life.

Being the northerner that I am, I like to describe the feeling as like when you are trying to walk through snow that is up to your knees. Only it's July and it's 90 degrees outside and there is no snow on the ground. It's a huge effort just to lift up one foot and put it in front of the other. Another analogy that I like is that you are trying to wade up an ankle-deep, fast-moving stream, only all of the people on the shore are walking at a regular pace and can't even see the stream. Then you reach a boulder in the stream and and grab on to it so that the stream doesn't wash you away. Only your fingers start slipping off of the rock and you are having a hard time hanging on, while everyone around you is oblivious to your struggle.

You sleep until noon, drink three cups of coffee, then go back to sleep until 4pm. And do it again the next day. And the next day. Sometimes you skip the coffee and sleep straight until 4pm. You're exhausted all of the time and you can sleep anywhere, anytime, including the subway, at the movies, and in your living room with all of the lights on and the TV blaring. You only consume coffee, donuts, chocolate, ice cream, and beer, and you put on 15 pounds. Then none of your pants, shorts, or skirts fit. You can't remember the last time you showered. Maybe you showered on Tuesday but didn’t wash your hair, which would explain why my your head is so greasy. Your leg hair is a half inch long.

I tried to believe all the things that you said, but my friends that aren't dying are already dead. 
- The Hold Steady - Constructive Summer.mp3
Buy: Stay Positive (2008)

The following friends of mine have passed away since I moved to Boston in January 2011 (rough chronological order, ages in parentheses, after July 2013 in italics)

Maggie (63)
Leslie (47)
Jonathan (55)
Dan (40)
Linda (58)
Sandi (55)
JT (65)
Stephanie (40)
Tony (60)
Don (69)
Andy (59)

Some of these people were close friends, some I was not close to. All of them I hugged at one point or another. All of them had some sort of influence or impression on my life. Some died very suddenly, some after weeks, months, or years of illness. Being active in the organ donation and transplant community allows me the privilege of knowing people who have gone through similar health issues as I have, but it also hurts twice as much when they pass away because you know that could easily be you. Two of these deaths made me extremely angry, and one broke my heart.

What do you do when this happens? Do you take their information out of your phone? I haven't yet. Do you "unfriend" them on Facebook? Stupid Facebook. I do find some comfort in reading the messages people have left posthumously on their Facebook pages. All of these people lived far away and I didn't attend any of their funerals, plus some I learned of their deaths after the fact. What do you do next? What the fuck do I do?

The Jim Carroll Band - People Who Died.mp3
Buy: Catholic Boy (1980)

Unemployment almost killed me. I moved to Boston for a job in January 2011, and was let go in July 2011, and didn't work again until May 2012. Then was let go again in November 2012. Two seven-month jobs in two years is a huge red flag on a resume. And unemployment assistance does not come close to covering rent in Boston, much less all of your other expenses. You are perpetually broke. Then the government "sequesters" and cuts down your pittance by an extra $100 a week, then finally cuts you off altogether. At one point I was working three part time jobs just to try to keep going. The only reason I stayed in Massachusetts is because, up until Obamacare (Jan. 1, 2014), it was the only state where I could get health insurance without having a job. Fortunately, I found a job at the end of March 2014. It pays 27% less than my previous job, but it's a start. The work is interesting and I really love the people I am working with. I can't say that about my previous two Boston jobs.

Boston is a hard city, especially when you are by yourself and don't know a lot of people in the area. My family doctor referred me up to a psychiatrist who was crazier than most of her patients. Seriously, she made Dr. Jacoby from Twin Peaks (right) look normal. My insurance company charged a $20-$35 co-pay for a 20 minute session with her when money was already exceedingly tight. She was always being trailed by a young medical student, who I am certain that I taught more medicine to than she did. Hell, I have a kidney transplant, a history of GI problems, other maladies, and I'm a head-case. I'm interesting as fuck from a medical perspective. However, I never once felt better coming out of her office. I usually felt extremely annoyed. I would frequently go straight home from an appointment and go back to bed.

Regardless, the one thing nut-job shrink was correct about is my lack of support system in this town, which I knew before I set foot in her office. And it isn't just this town. I felt like I couldn't reach out to friends who were far away. I would be a bother to them. Or they were too busy with their kids and families and careers to hear about my problems. And I'm embarrassed that I can't handle it. I know there have been times in the last 15 years where I have been weird, anti-social, negative, or melancholy, and it's affected my friendships and social life. "Here comes that weirdo Aimz and her bad attitude. I don't want to deal with her." I never want someone to do something they don't want to do. Boston is not an easy place to make new friends. Professionals in Boston and Cambridge are hyper-competitive about their careers. Natives of the area are suspicious of outsiders. People in my age range are busy with families and kids. Which brings me to the thing I miss most about Dan: us commiserating on our parallel lives. He, unlike me, was chronically happy, and always made me feel better about us being "losers with no friends." (His quote.) And I miss that loser with no friends more than I ever thought possible.

The below song has always haunted me.

Candlebox - Far Behind.mp3
Buy: Candlebox (1993)

Here's what I don't want: I don't want all of my friends frantically calling and texting me now that I have "opened up." I don't want people to leave comments below about "you can always call me" blah, blah, blah. I know, I know. But my pride gets in the way and I muddle through as always. Just know that depression/anxiety disorder/what-the-fuck is a son-of-a-bitch, and I have my good and bad days. I'm better now that I have a job and new friends. But it's always lurking in the back of my brain, anticipating that the stream's current may surge, and there may be another slippery rock that I have a hard time holding on to.
Edit: My friend Sara e-mailed me and, "You're not the boss of me! I'll call and text and leave comments if damn well want to!" Sara rules.

Kasey Anderson - Some Depression.mp3
From: Let the Bloody Moon Rise (2012)

Monday, April 21, 2014

Marathon Monday

I haven't written anything on this blog in a long, long time, and I have the urge to write. But I don't want to write about music. I want to write about athletes and doctors and citizens and scumbags. I want to write about the Boston Marathon. (all photography is by me unless noted.)

I moved to the Boston area in 2011, and that year I watched the marathon on TV from my apartment in Cambridge. Patriots' Day, "Marathon Monday," is a state holiday in Massachusetts which commemorates the Revolutionary War, specifically the battles of Lexington and Concord. It also is the traditional day to run the Boston Marathon. Plus, an 11 a.m. Boston Red Sox baseball game has occurred on this day since 1959 (the idea being that the game will let out in time for the fans to cheer on the last of the marathon runners). In 2011 I couldn't get my bum out of bed in time to get over to the marathon route, and I wanted to watch the Red Sox game as they were playing the Blue Jays and, having recently moved from Toronto, I was still rooting for the Blue Jays to win.

I didn't "get" the marathon until 2012, after I had moved to Brookline. I lived at 1440 Beacon St, near Coolidge Corner, right on the marathon route, just west of mile 24. April 16, 2012, was an unseasonably hot day, with the temperature reaching a high of 88F/31C. Because of the heat, the organizers let athletes defer their entry until 2013. The elite runners were some 5 to 10 minutes off of their best times. The winning men's time in 2011 was 2:03.02, while in 2012 it was 2:12.40. The section where I was watching was staffed with extra medical personnel, extra water, and a misting tent where the athletes could cool off.

2012: Misting tent near Coolidge Corner so the runners could cool off in
the 88F degree heat.

What you can't appreciate from watching the marathon on TV is the amount of cheering on the course. It is loud! Some 500,000 people line the 26.2 mile route. Everyone is cheering for everyone else. And the cheering isn't just for the elite runners. In fact, spectators cheer more loudly for the everyday people out running. Athletes will have their name or their home country flag on the front of their jersey, and people will cheer, "Go John from England!" I specifically remember one athlete from South Korea smiling as people were yelling "Go Korea!" And remember, this is between miles 23 and 24. The athletes are suffering. They have about 2 miles left to go and they are unhappy. I saw several spectators jump out into the race to help jog and encourage the last 2 to 2.5 miles with their friends or family.

2012: Fun people on the marathon course near mile 24

2012: Near 1440 Beacon St. looking east. So many people! The Green "C"
T line is on the left. The Citgo sign in the distance is near Fenway Park.
The time stamp on this photo is 2:37, or about 13 minutes before the bombs
went off in 2013. You can really appreciate all of the runners still on the course.

Lots of other things are going on too. Military members ruck march the entire marathon route, starting at 5:00 a.m. the day of the race (Apparently this isn't happening this year. Lame!). A Revolutionary War reenacter dressed as William Dawes comes by on a horse to warn us that the British are coming. Dawes trots onward down Harvard St. on his way to meet Paul Revere in Lexington. The local Rotary International Club sells grilled hot dogs and hamburgers as a fundraiser (I had a hamburger). A local community band plays out-of-tune Sousa marches. People decked out in Red Sox gear are waiting for the T or walking the 1.5 miles to the stadium. Some people bring coolers and snacks and literally tailgate as the athletes run by. The day is way more about community than about who wins the race.

2012: Syracuse University ROTC ruck marches the marathon route. They are
carrying 40 pounds of equipment and it is 88F outside. Bad. Ass.

2012: William Dawes warns the residents of Brookline that the lousy
Redcoats are coming before meeting up with Paul Revere in Lexington.

2012: A community band plays Sousa marches. Everyone else claps along.

2012: The Brookline Rotary Club serves hamburgers and hot dogs.
My father is very active in his Rotary Club in Oshkosh, Wisconsin,
so this photo is for him.
My first year at the marathon I went home for lunch around 12:30 and was stunned that I could hear the crowds from within my apartment! My unit faced away from Beacon St, and I rarely heard traffic, yet I could hear the marathon spectators loud and clear. It was a really fun day, and it made me proud to be a part of the Boston community.

My 2013 experience at the marathon was largely the same except that the temperature was reasonable (upper 40s to lower 50s).  I wore a fleece jacket to stay warm. I was tweeting images and my impressions of the race. I probably tweeted something flippant about throwing donuts at the runners. I watched the wheelchair racers FLY by. A guy I knew from high school was part of the elite runners group. I tried to watch for him but he was so fast that I completely missed him (he ran it in 2:23:06 and finished 34th overall - at age 42!). I chatted with a nice retired couple who live in Cambridge, but come out to Brookline to watch the marathon every year.  I bought a cheeseburger and a Diet Coke from the Rotary International cookout.

2013: Waiting for the elite runners to come through. Look at how the
spectators are bundled up compared to 2012.

2013: I teased the runners with strawberry frosted donuts.

2013: The elite runners came through so quickly that I almost didn't catch
them on my slow camera. The second man from the right in the blue tank
top is Ethiopian Lelisa Desisa who won the men's race. He returned to 
Boston a few months later and gave his winning medal to the city. 
Good article on him from the April 17 New York Times.

I had some things to do, so I went home around 1:30 or 2, I can't remember exactly. I had been out watching and cheering since about 10 a.m. I was working on a job application around 3:00pm or so when my friend Chuck in Kentucky tweeted at me, "Are you OK?" What the hell? Of course I'm OK, why do you ask? I could still hear all of the people outside cheering the runners on. A few seconds after that my friend Adam in Wisconsin tweeted the same thing to me. I finally looked at my twitter feed to see what the hell they were talking about. Holy crap! A bomb or something had gone off at the marathon finish line. There may be more bombs. It was only minutes after the bombs went off and reports were still confusing. And for the most part the people lined up on Beacon St in front of my apartment between miles 23 and 24 had no clue what was going on. I went downstairs to look and people were still jogging by. I decided that the best thing that I could do was get out of the way, so I went back up to my apartment and stared at the TV and twitter. I had been tweeting about the marathon earlier that day so several of my friends, not knowing where I was tweeting from, where concerned that I was near the bomb site. I thought of my friend Patrick who always watches the marathon downtown, but he had fortunately been away visiting his mother that weekend.

I won't rehash all of what happened because you can read about that on any recount of that day. I have three memorizes emblazoned on my brain from the images I saw on the internet and television. First, an EMT tweeted out a photo of a three or four-year-old boy on an ambulance stretcher wearing a child-size neck brace and clutching a teddy bear. You couldn't see the child's face in the photo, and the photo was subsequently deleted from twitter. The kid may have been the child on the cover of the tablet-only edition of Time magazine published later in the week.  The boy reminded me of my little nephew. Both of my nephew's parents are avid runners and he could have been there with his grandparents and aunt, cheering mamma and daddy on at the finish.

The second photo that took my breath away was of all of the athletes stopped near Fenway, about 1 mile from the finish. Some 5,700 runners were still on the course when the bombs went off. These runners were the ones who had raised money for certain charities to be eligible to run without having to meet a qualifying time. In other words, most of these runners were average people who had raised thousands of dollars for charity and who had trained for months and months to finish the race. Most expected a finishing time of over 4 hours. Now they were corralled between Massachusetts Avenue and Kenmore Square or further down the course at Boston College, unaware of why they were stopped. I read of a Frenchman who didn't speak English trying to finish the race, running down Newbury St in confusion until someone who spoke French stopped him and told him what was happening. I read of people who lived in the area taking in confused runners and giving them blankets and food so their muscles wouldn't seize up, and a place to stay or a phone to use while the chaos played out.  People were opening up their homes to strangers who had no where to stay that night, or offering rides to stranded runners, or translating for the thousands of foreigners in town for the marathon.

2013 (from CNN): Runners stopped at Mass. Ave. about a half
mile before the finish line.

Finally, I will never forget watching a press conference on CNN with the attending trauma surgeon at Massachusetts General Hospital (MGH), Peter Fagenholz. I worked at MGH for my first job in Boston, and I go there once a month for my kidney transplant medications. I can only describe Dr. Fagenholz as being the calmest, coolest person in all of Boston. Seriously, as a trauma surgeon you must have balls of steel to begin with, but then to deal with mass casualties and the press asking moronic questions. Nothing fazed this guy. How he didn't slap a reporter silly I will never know.

0:35 Was there anything unusual or anything in particular [about the injuries]? "No...a lot of small metal debris..." 0:54 Do you think the people in critical condition at this point...(hard to hear)...will things be OK for them? "Well, they're not looking OK. That's not what 'critical condition' means." 2:44 Have you ever seen anything like this? "The injuries are not otherworldly, but I can't say that I have seen this volume of patients come this quickly with this type of injury." 2:58 What do you mean by 'not otherworldly?' "Any traumatic amputation is a gruesome injury but it's something that we do see from time to time in the course of daily life even outside of this event... This is work. When this happens we just go to work." This statement was true for all of the hospitals that took in trauma patients. In fact, the first responders and medical personnel were amazing. Read this excellent article about how Boston was prepared for large scale casualties by surgeon Atual Gawande from The New Yorker.

The week only got more surreal as it went on. I had a scheduled appointment at MGH the next morning, Tuesday, April 16. I took the T from Coolidge Corner to Government Center. A family of four boarded the T at the St. Paul stop. The mom and dad had two boys: a four-year-old and a two-year-old. They were visiting from Ottawa. The four-year-old and his mom sat next to me while the two-year-old stayed in the stroller and his dad stood along the side of the subway car. Both of the boys were wearing Red Sox caps that were just a little too big for them. The four-year-old was a chatterbox: he told me everything about their trip, and especially about the sting rays at the aquarium. Both boys waved at the military personnel on the T platforms, and the military guys waved back. I exited at Government Center and my new friend asked me, "Where are you going?" like he was sad that I had to leave. I told him that I had to go to work, which wasn't true, but it was a better line that a doctor's appointment. I said goodbye to my new friends, and was grateful to be distracted by an innocent child, reminding me of what's good in the world.

Government Center had about one third of the number of pedestrians of a normal day. There where military and police officers with large guns everywhere, and bomb sniffing German Sheppards patrolling every nook and cranny of the plaza. The appointment took about three hours longer than usual, and it was unnerving watching the press conference from the waiting room of a hospital where 20+ people were clinging to life who less than 24 hours ago had been enjoying a race.

On Thursday, April 18, at 5:00pm, the FBI released a photo of the two scumbags that they believed planted the marathon bombs. At 11:00pm those scumbags had murdered an MIT police officer and were on the run. My friend Isabel had been at a movie in Kendal Square near MIT and texted me asking me what was going on. She jokingly said, "Maybe I won't have to go to work tomorrow."

I stayed up for the next 8 hours watching everything unfold on twitter and on TV. I was completely riveted. The shootout in Watertown happened a few miles from where I lived in an area where I frequently go shopping. For the record, Boston was not "on lockdown" as described by the press. The neighborhood in Watertown where the shootout took place was on lockdown, but the rest of the area was under a voluntary stay home order. Officially it was called a shelter-in-place, but I saw people jogging, people walking their dogs, people taking the trash out, etc. The 7-11 across the street from me was open, and I bet that the Dunkin Donuts down the road was open too (if Dunkin Donuts closes, the terrorists win). Most people had the attitude of, "Wooo-hooo! Three day weekend!" The best essay I read about this "lockdown" was published in Esquire and described a one-night-stand gone awry.

But seriously, there are about 250,000 students in Boston, and the 19-year-old scumbag bomber could have easily blended in with the crowd. He was within a few miles of large schools like Harvard, MIT, BU and BC. During the night I kept looking out my window wondering if the doe-eyed creep would pop out of my bushes and bomb my apartment building. Public transportation in Boston is really good (relative to some places where I have lived), and these jerks could have easily hopped on a train and been half way to Canada in a few hours. Or taken over and blown up a large office building. Fortunately these dipshits where not criminal masterminds. Some a-hole on Facebook said, "I can't believe that Boston is under martial law." Give me a fucking break. And someone else said, "the government is taking away Boston resident's civil liberties." Please. Isabel, who once lived in Houston, said, "No one complains when you prepare for a huge hurricane, and at the last minute it dissipates and you only get a rain storm." Boston prepared for a Category 4 hurricane, but fortunately only got a small thunderstorm.

Since this is a music blog, I do have to add a music tangent. In the words of former Boston resident and great sage Louis C.K., "Well, [Rolling Stone] put that kid on the cover that blew up Boston, so fuck them, I don't care." It infuriates me that Rolling Stone glorified the younger scumbag by putting his ugly mug on its cover. This cover space is usually saved for rockstars, actors, and other pop culture icons. The previous three years worth of Rolling Stone covers were all pop musicians or actors. I'm sure the journalism on the accompanying article is great (I didn't read it out of protest). But, if it's all about journalism, then why did the arguably most important article that Rolling Stone has published in the last five years, the July 8, 2010, story about General Stanley A. McChrystal criticizing civilian government officials ultimately leading to his resignation, feature a cover of Lady Gage pointing guns as her boobs? The last time I purchased an issue of Rolling Stone was the May 24, 2012, issue as I wanted to read about Laura Jane Grace and her struggles with being transgender. That was a really great article. But now Rolling Stone can suck it. Jann Wenner can fuck right off. I will never purchase another issue.

So tomorrow I will head out to cheer on the marathon runners. Over a million people are expected to line the marathon route. Although I no longer live in Brookline, I will still head over to Coolidge Corner and take my place along Beacon Street. The elite runners start in Hopkinton at 9:30 a.m. when the temperature will be about 40F. The less elite runners will start around 11:30, and will start crossing the finish line when it has warmed up to the mid 60s. The elite field is predicted to be extra fast and competitive this year as many elite runners are joining the race in solidarity with those who were injured by the bombers in 2013. I'll take lots of photos. I'll tweet something obnoxious about throwing Munchkins at the runners (though I'll still call them Timbits). I'll go to a bar and drink Sam Adams 26.2. It will be a great day.

The Hold Steady - For Boston.mp3
From: Boys and Girls in American (Australia Bonus Track) (2007)

Monday, December 24, 2012

Feel Bad for Santa

Ho Ho freakin’ Ho! Your favorite snowmen, elves, reindeer, shepherds and wise men have assembled one more Feel Bad for You mixtape for 2012. Think of this as your early stocking stuffer. And the little angel on the cover art? That’s my nephew. Clearly, he gets his fear of fats guys with beards from his aunt.

1. Frightened Rabbit - Boxing Night
Buy: State Hospital EP (2012)
Submitted By: tincanman
Comments: Just me and these walls/And a beaten up chair/On boxing day…. You got to admit, the Scots have a unique ability to suck the fun out of anything. This band is so, so, so good!

2. Centro-matic - Fuselage (It’s Starting To Look Like Christmas Once Again)
Buy: Electric Ornaments (2000)
Submitted by: Corey Flegel
Comments: Maybe my favorite Centro song…and I love all Centro songs.

3. Eartha Kitt - Santa Baby
Buy: Ultimate Christmas Album, Vol 3 (1996)
Submitted By: BoogieStudio22
Comments: Sexiest Christmas song of all time. Nuff said!

4. Bob Walkenhorst - Christmas In Nashville
From: Soundboard recording from December 19, 2007 show at The Record Bar
Submitted By: toomuchcountry
Comments: The front man for The Rainmakers – then and now – performs weekly at The Record Bar in Kansas City, MO, with a mixture of old and new Rainmakers material, solo performer songs, and cover tunes. One of his traditions in recent years has been to incorporate several Christmas themed songs into the set list during one of his December shows.

5. Bohannons - X-Mas In Vietnam
From: X-Mas In Vietnam (2012)
Submitted By: TheOtherBrit
Comments: Not your average Christmas song.

6. Jim Boggia - I’m the Humbug
Buy: Fidelity Is The Enemy (2001)
Submitted By: @philnorman
Comments: The album as a whole is a singer-songwriter pop masterpiece. It's on Bandcamp. You should get it. And if you’re gonna stick a hidden track on your album, why not a Christmas jam?

7. Dropkick - Scampi for Xmas
Buy: 25th December (2010)
Submitted by: Simon
Comments: I hate turkey, so deep fried scampi it is.

8. Jimmy Kirkland - Hang Them High At Christmas
Buy: Cool Daddy (2007)
Submitted By: @popa2unes
Comments: Merry Rockabilly XXXMas!

9. The Showcase Showdown - Merry Christmas, I Fucked Your Snowman
From: Ho Ho Ho Chi Minh 7" (1995, out of print)
Submitted By: scratchedsoul
Comments: I used to see these guys regularly in the mid-90s around Boston playing the punk rock shows. How can you a) not love a band named after a segment from the Price is Right and b) not buy a 7″ that has a song called ‘Merry Christmas, I Fucked Your Snowman’ on it? The sound is nothing new, but they do it well.

10. Gretchen Peters - Waitin' On Mary
From: The Best of "Nashville Unlimited" Christmas Vol. 1 (2003, out of print)
Submitted By: toomuchcountry
Comments: Around 2000, Nashville session bassist Dave Pomeroy began hosting Nashville Unlimited. Performers aren’t announced in advance. Tickets aren’t sold before the night of the event. And virtually no publicity is ginned up for the event. Yet, Christ Church Cathedral is filled each year with folks who stand in line on Broadway on a first-come, first-seated basis to donate to help Nashville’s homeless through Room In The Inn. The artists who perform each year are varied and represent some of the best Nashville has to offer. I’ve seen John Prine, Emmylou Harris, Tommy Emmanuel, Riders In The Sky, Vince Gill, etc. show up unannounced to perform and help bring awareness and support. I encourage those who are so inclined to help at or by finding a way to help in your own town or city.

11. Mic Harrison - Christmas Time at the Dixie Lounge
From: Christmas Split (2008, out of print)
Submitted By: AnnieTUFF
Comments: (by Rockstar Aimz) Annie sent me nine Christmas mp3s, so I just picked two that I hadn't heard before. I picked this one because I know that Mic Harrison rules.

12. The Vandals - My First Xmas, As a Woman
Buy: Oi To The World (1996)
Submitted By: AnnieTUFF
Comments: (by Rockstar Aimz) I really hope this song is about a sex change for Christmas. OK, I'm listening to it for the first time and it's even more awesome than I thought it would be.

13. The Raveonettes - The Christmas Song
Buy: Maybe This Christmas Tree (2004)
Submitted By: Trailer
Comments: Sugary confection that I can’t get enough of for some reason.

14. Twisted Sister - Oh Come All Ye Faithful
Buy: Twisted Christmas (2006)
Submitted By: Gorrck
Comments: While listening to this think of "We're Not Gonna Take It." You'll thank me later.

15. Diamond Rugs - Christmas in a Chinese Restaurant
(Deer Tick’s John McCauley and Robbie Crowell, the Black Lips’ Ian Saint Pe, Dead Confederate’s Hardy Morris, Six Finger Satellite’s Bryan Dufresne, and Steve Berlin of Los Lobos)
Buy: Diamond Rugs (2011)
Submitted By: Romeo Sid Vicious
Comments: I found this one last year and was really happy about finding a new Christmas song so I figured I’d share it here in case anyone hasn’t discovered it yet.

16. Alabama - Thistlehair The Christmas Bear
Buy: Christmas (1985)
Submitted By: Truersound
Comments: Because it's not Christmas without Thistlehair the Christmas Bear. You know in Pigeon Forge it's Christmas all year around…. ALL YEAR AROUND! Also in Myrtle Beach…Myrtle Beach is a lot like Pigeon Forge just with a beach and titty bars…. Both love Alabama and Christmas….(and meth).

17. Lightnin' Hopkins - Santa
Buy: Mojo Hand (orig. 1960)
Submitted By: Truersound
Comments: Aimz challenged me to send in a Kwanzaa song, I’m not entirely sure how one celebrates a Kwanzaa, but my version of Kwanzaa has would have Lightnin’ Hopkins in it.

18. Half Man Half Biscuit - All I Want For Christmas Is A Dukla Prague Away Kit
From: The Trumpton Riots 7” (1986, out of print)
Submitted By: Mad Mackerel
Comments: As relentlessly English a Christmas song as it is possible to get. Since their first release in 1985 Half Man Half Biscuit have been slyly poking fun at British culture and geography through a series of vignettes featuring scalpel sharp lyrics and a healthy sense of the absurd. This classic offering – the b-side to their debut single – lampoons the ‘must have’ toys of the time in the UK – Scalextric car racing and the soccer game Subbuteo for which a Dukla Prague Away Kit was the ultimate in street-cred cool. To this day, fans at gigs still wear the replica shirts of this Czech football club that was formed by the Czechoslovak army in 1948 and sadly folded in 1996. This song remains a fitting festive tribute.

19. Paul Kelly - How to Make Gravy
Buy: Songs From the South (1997)
Submitted By: Rockstar Aimz
Comments: I consider this song to be up there with John Prine’s "Christmas in Prison" in terms of modern Christmas classics. First, the narrator, Joe, is indeed in prison, but the song takes place in Australia where it is summer and everyone goes to the beach after the roast is served. Second, Joe is truly, soulfully regretful for whatever he did to land him in the clink, and laments about everyone he is going to miss over the holidays. Third, my favorite line is Joe saying, "Roger. I’m even going to miss Roger. Cause there’s nobody here that I want to fight." Like he can’t find someone in prison that he despises enough to punch. Awesome.

20. Brave Combo - Must Be Santa
Buy: It's Christmas, Man! (1992)
Submitted By: Rockstar Aimz
Comments: I like even numbers and ending on a fun note. "Must Be Santa" was originally written by Mitch Miller, and released on his 1961 album Holiday Sing Along With Mitch Miller. Miller was a major force in the music industry from the late 1940s to the early 1960s, serving at the head of A&R for both Mercury and Columbia Records. With Columbia in the 1960s he was responsible for signing and producing many important pop standards. However, he did not like rock and folk music, and he greatly disapproved of Columbia’s signing of a certain 1960s folk singer named Bob Dylan. Brave Combo rearranged "Must Be Santa" in polka fashion for their 1992 Christmas album, and Dylan used this arrangement for his 2009 album Christmas in the Heart. Dylan’s video is all kinds of fucked up. It’s nice to know that Bob still does drugs.

Monday, December 17, 2012