Groupies, or Lack Thereof

Last night was one of those rare nights where I was so glad that I decided to stay in, despite the fact that today is a holiday for me and I don't have to go to work (although, I am still going in for a few hours, curse, curse, curse).

Around 10:00 last night Neko Case posted on twitter: "To answer your question, no, ladies in bands don't get ANY action. Actresses have a lean on all the "pussy" we were supposed to get." This prompted a discussion on the social order of rock stardom. Dozens of other female musicians chimed in saying that they never get laid while out on tour, while their male drummers pick up a different chick every night.

Colette Alexander: I remember the 1st time I ever wished I was a boy was when I started playing in bands. Oh, to be propositioned post-show.

Rockn Rolga: this is TRUTH. While my band mates were getting some action, my action was hoofin' the merch back in the van.

Sarah Conley: so true! i'm in a brother-sister band&get no action where my bro&the rest of the guys get all.i'm rarely even in the conversation

Needless to say, this discussion blew my feeble mind and shattered my rockstar fantasies. I mean, if Neko freaking Case can't get laid post-gig, how the hell is here any hope for me?

The conversation quickly turned to why this double standard exists in the music biz:

Jenny Decimal: Folks assume that a girl making it in a business that's traditionally a dudefest must be terrifying & evil, eg Margaret Thatcher.

This statement I can appreciate, especially in my career and with my education. How many dudes have told me that I intimidate them? Is it my fault that I have my shit together and make more money than they do? More importantly, am I Margaret Thatcher? God Damn! I might as well shoot myself right now.

More theories:

Steve Horrocks: It's simply due to the abundance of sluts.

Amy Millan: the merch girl man.She's the one who gets ALL the action-It's like wardrobe chicks on film sets-they get WAY more then actresses

jason bentley: It's easier to talk to MerchGirl v. BandGirl b/c MerchGirl can't leave her post! Stationary = indieboynerd confidence!

Lumpy Deardorff: I would not hit on you. Please don't take it personally, I am married & afraid of powerful women. Also, all other types of women.

flattery_sucks: It's hard to hit on women in bands, I am busy awkwardly trying to explain what their music means to me emotionally. Also crying

It appeared that gay dudes were willing to take one for the team and several propositioned Ms. Case. But overall, the straight men were being giant pansies. Team Daytrotter summed it up best, "sounds like we've got some figurin to do."

This conversation was the best thing that I have ever seen on twitter, possibly the best think ever on the internet. Although now I am totally depressed knowing that I will never get laid again.

Here are two groupie songs that I love. What makes these versions really interesting is that both were originally sung by women.

Okkervil River - The Blonde In the Bleachers.mp3 (Joni Mitchell cover)
From: Golden Opportunities Mixtape (2007)

Sonic Youth - Superstar.mp3 (Carpenters cover)
Buy (MP3, CD out of print): If I Were A Carpenter (1994)

And for me and Margaret Thatcher:
Neko Case - Alone and Forsaken.mp3
Buy: Live From Austin, TX (2007)

Music and Misery #17-15

After a long Easter weekend and overdosing on Cadbury Cream Eggs, let's get back to the Forbes magazine 20 most miserable cities in the US, and the music that these cities spawned.

17. Sacramento, California
Capitol of California. About 2 million people in the metro area. 5.9% home foreclosure rate. Crime rates worse than Los Angeles or San Francisco (but not Compton). Unemployment rate of 13.1% as of January, 2010. Sale tax of 9.25% (8.25% is California state tax). To add to the misery, the Sacramento Kings, the only major pro team in the city, are currently 24-53 and eliminated from the 2010 playoffs.

The band Cake hails from this central California city. They had some hits in the mid 90s, and they will tour Edmonton and Calgary at the end of the month.

Cake - Frank Sinatra.mp3
Buy: Fashion Nugget (1996)

16. New York, New York
The Big Apple. Hold on. New York rules! I love this city. Largest city in North America. But it costs $3000/month for a 300 square foot apartment. Income tax is 10.5% (highest in the country), plus 8.875% sales tax. The daily commute time is the longest in the country. Sounds likes a great place to visit, but not necessarily to live in. Although the violent crimes rates have dropped dramatically in the last 15 years making NYC one of the safest major cities in the US, there were still 523 murders in 2008 (compared to 70 murders in Toronto in 2008, although Toronto has 1/3 the population). Too many pro sports teams in NYC to go through them all, but look at the NBA Knicks. They have been awful for years. And the New Jersey Nets who play in East Rutherford, NJ, part of the NYC metro area, are the worst team in the NBA. Although the Yankees are a perennial powerhouse in baseball, their fans are so obnoxious that no one outside of New York can stand them. The team or the fans.

There are so many historic and influential bands from New York, its almost impossible to pick just one. I'm going with Sonic Youth, which to me personify New York rock music. Leading the way in punk/"noise" rock in the early 80s, and having a massive influence on alternative rock for the last three decades. Here they are covering another hugely influential musician. Although Bob Dylan is from Minnesota, Dylan became a famous folk singer in New York's Greenwich Village in the early 60's, and signed his first record contract with New York-based Columbia in 1962.

Sonic Youth - I'm Not There.mp3
Buy: I'm Not There soundtrack (2007)

15. Toledo, Ohio
Named after Toledo, Spain. Urban/Metro population of 503,008, although there has been a net migration out of the city for the last 20 years, losing roughly 6% of the population each decade. As of January 2010, an unemployment rate of 13.4%, well ahead of the national rate of 9.7%. The Toledo area has lost over 33,000 jobs since December 2007, largely due to the decline of the auto industry. Loss of population and jobs means vacant buildings which often leads to crime, although I can't find any recent crime statistics. Toledo hosts no major sports teams, but I would argue that their minor league teams have the best names in the country: Mudhens (baseball), Walleye (hockey), and Bullfrogs (arena football). Toledo is friggin cold in the winter, with wind kicking off of Lake Erie. I once drove through a tornado in Toledo while road tripping from Cincinnati to Detroit. I stopped at a liquor store to wait out the storm.

Funny cultural note from Wikipedia, which may or may not add to the misery: John Denver sang a disparaging song about visiting Toledo entitled "Saturday Night In Toledo, Ohio" which was composed by Randy Sparks. It was written in 1967 when Sparks and his group arrived in Toledo at 10pm on a Saturday night, and found everything closed. The song was written as they drove down to Kansas City and their next gig.

I have never heard this song. Help a sister out?

Gary Louis was born and raised in Toledo, Ohio, and eventually migrated to Minneapolis, Minnesota, to form the seminal alt country band The Jayhawks. He put out his first solo album in 2008, and performs with a number of other musicians. Last year he released the album Ready For The Flood with his Jayhawks partner Mark Olson, which was one of my favorite albums of 2009. He also produces records for several artists, including my favorite Canadian band The Sadies.

Gary Louris - She Only Calls Me on Sundays.mp3
Buy: Vagabonds (2008)